Timeline from now until...

This past month has been a whirlwind. I look back at the first month of 2008, and wonder if this is a precursor of what is to come. Life has changed so much. I have gone from looking to a house to not wanting to have a part in the market. When something doesn't feel right, I tend to push away hard at it. I become the little boy who crosses his arms and says, "no!". That's the way I feel about it right now.

Part of the reason is because I don't know where God has me going. I am not sure that construction is the end-all to my life. Partially, because I miss Rwanda. I miss the idea of simplicity and a people driven society. Instead of "who has the most stuff", it is much more about the idea of relationships, and people matter. When it all boils down, it is people that matter. What I have couldn't mean less to me.

I know that having things isn't bad, but when it becomes the basis of what you do, it becomes your new god. I see nothing wrong with having stuff, as long as it is used to reach people.

I am a pretty lucky person. God has given me the ability to fit into a world where many Christ-followers would either be intimidated, or would choose not to go. Construction could be my ministry. Granted, I don't always see it that way, but that is the ultimate point of being here on earth isn't it? We are here to worship, and show the love of Christ.

I guess it breaks down to I could either be in fresno in six months, or I could be far away. The interesting thing is, being away from here wouldn't bother me. Sure, I may miss some of my friends, but I would see them again.

One of my closest friends told me one time that she had no problem being one place over another because ultimately, Earth isn't her home town, she belongs in heaven. At first, I thought it was korny, but I think I see where she is coming from. Life isn't about being one place and making that home, it is about being where Christ wants you, and making that your nesting spot until he has something else for us.

Ultimately, I don't know where He wants me, or what exactly he wants from me. I can say that I am excited about the next six months, but It also freaks me out. I operate off of a calendar. I like to know where I am going and what I am doing. But God doesn't work on my calendar, and thats ok. It teaches me that life isn't about me, it's about Him. I have a part in what He does, but I'm not the focal point.