Monday, December 21, 2009

wow...

What a year it has been. In this year alone, I have...

1. Gotten married to a wonderful woman who has been so supportive of me.
2. Been to Jamaica.
3. Gotten laid off from my job
4. Realized how in control God is, even when I dont know it
5. Been to Disneyland, twice
6. Been to the coast
7. Went up to San Fransisco to visit Burger
8. Been blessed by friends and family.
9. Decided to start our own business
10. started studying for the Contractors State license exam.
11. Live in a beautiful house
12. Have 2 wonderful dogs... the bigger one being the bigger panzy.
13. and so many more

It is amazing to look at where I have been in the past year. I look back at New Years, and I look at where I am now, and I cant believe it. God has given me my best friend, and so many blessings that I cant even begin to express how thankful I am.

If this year has taught me anything, it is that to say you trust God is one thing, but to see it in every day life is something on a totally different level. I am so blessed to have a God that cares about the stupid things with me.

The other night I was talking to Stephanie in bed, and I asked her if she ever thinks that God didn't have an idea what he was doing when he gave his son for us... I sometimes wonder. I know I dont deserve to have forever with Him, but I sure am thankful.

So here is to another year in Fresno, learning to rely on God, and learning how to enjoy a life that God has given us to enjoy.

Monday, March 16, 2009

The potter and his clay

Isaiah 64:8 Yet, Lord you are our father. We are the clay, and you are our potter; We are the product of your labor.

I went to coffee with a gentleman by the name of Brian Gudgel yesterday after church (please forgive me if I spelled his name wrong). Over the past six months or so, I have talked to steph, and prayed with her, that God would put a man in my life in the construction industry (or someone that knows the stresses associated with it) for me to learn from. That prayer has been answered.

What was I expecting was to get pointers on how to deal with stress. You know, something like, " take a walk when you get frustrated", or, "Make sure you are always the last person to leave, it makes it look like you are working harder." (please forgive the bad punctuation, I have never been good at quoting quotes.) But what he told me was so much more useful. He told me to make sure that I am starting my day out in the word. Make sure that I am asking for strength to get through the day. Ask for wisdom from God.

We both believe that God is not a vengeful God. We do not believe that he "punishes" us just to punish us. He may let things happen to us to get us back on track, but I dont believe that he just lets things happen because he is bored. Everything happens for a reason.

But back to the title.

It sucks to be the clay. Have you ever watched a potter work with his clay? If not, youtube it. The clay starts out as a blob. Sitting there, undisciplined in shape and weak. It can be molded by unskilled hands or skilled hands. Then, the wheel starts to turn. the Potter takes his hands and starts to manipulate and shape the clay into the shape of his desire. It may be a pot, it may be a water jug, or it may be a vase. He shapes it with his hands, he carves away at it. The Potter takes his time, and turns the clay into what it needs to be. Finally, the wheel stops, and you have this vessel. The clay must think he is done... But he isn't. Now, its time to be fired, and cured. Once fired and cured, the only way you are going to change the shape of that clay is to break it. It is what it is going to be. No matter what other skilled or unskilled person comes and tries to manipulate that clay, it will not change. It has stood the test of fire, and it will not move.

Whether it is personal, physical, or spiritual, it sucks to be the clay. It sucks to be a blob of nothingness. I think it sucks more when God starts shaping you, because change hurts. It isn't easy. You have to learn to deal with that anguish. When a body builder lifts, he wears himself down, he drains himself of all his energy in the name of long term gain. When we are growing, it seems like we are beating ourselves up against a wall.

And thats ok. EVERYTHING works out for the glory of God. He loves us, more than the birds of the air or the flowers of the field. And while growing pains may be necessary, it will pass, and we will be better for it.

One final thought:

once you think you are done growing, you aren't. You have been shaped by God, and you are now a reflection of what God wants, but you have not stood the test of time, and you have not been hardened by fire. After you have been fired (or endured hardship) you are now complete. But I dont think anyone will ever be fully complete. Sometimes we need to be broken, in order to be rebuilt for the glory of God.